CHATS
These days I am preparing, while trying not to prepare too much, to move to South Korea to teach English as a Second Language in the public school system. I began the process in February of this year and it has been a great roller coaster of feelings.
Let’s go back a little bit. I graduated in May of 2009 with my degree in Interior Design from Missouri State University. Since graduation, I have considered a wide variety of careers in the Interior Design field and, at this time, I am still unsure which would be the perfect fit for me. My dearest thought is that I will move somewhere, get my Masters Degree in Interior Design, Historic Preservation, Green Design, something more specialized and also interesting to me… Although, right now even the most wonderful of those ideas in my head aren’t exactly where I want to be right now…and it took me two years to truly accept that realization. I applied for jobs I was overqualified for, just for the sheer excitement of being really financially stable (thank goodness they fell through).
For years (since about 2005) I have mulled the idea of teaching abroad over in my head but until this year I didn’t have the confidence or guts to consider leaving this town, this country alone. Now, at 25, I have the very clear idea that this is what is next for me. It brings excitement, adventure, eventually it brings broader knowledge, exposure, new skills, adaptability, financial stability, a wider list of things I can do next in my life because of the ability to save money while teaching. (Who knows, perhaps I will fall in love with teaching and get my Masters to teach at University.) It may sound plain crazy to some, some may understand, but I am excitedly preparing to be scared, lonely, feel small in the world, exhilarated, different.
Having that history, I will begin to explain the anguish of the past week. So, when I began the process in February I started a long list of tasks to acquire the proper documents to send to obtain a teaching position. Among the list of things I began the necessary steps to obtain an FBI Criminal Background Check. (I had heard it takes the longest, so I started well in advance) I sent of my fingerprints from a professional fingerprint technician and called to check up each week on the progress and found out about 6 weeks in that my fingerprints had been declared unclear. I freaked out a little, sent off 3 more cards and continued checking back with them. Closer to 7 weeks later, creeping up on some deadlines, I find out they are once again unclear. (Last Monday) So, I began to cry and made a lot of phone calls, emailed my recruiter Mina and told her what happened. She talked to a man of the South Korean government who did my Skype interview and he said hopefully there would be positions for September or October. Hopefully? Wow. I didn’t know that would possibly fill, I thought that was the safe overflow for people like me. So now, I have sent off my third request with 3 more sets, from two new places. I am having them expedited as the FBI agreed to work with me because of an inherent job loss. (I was told by many people on the phone many times that there was no possible way to expedite, thank goodness for this lady Cynthia)
Now, I wait. It has been a little over a week since I found out. I was prepared to send everything off last Wednesday, when I was hoping for my Background Check to come in. The really frustrating thing is that it is squeaky clean. (Haha.)
All this to say, kind of, is that it is really hard to be mentally and emotionally (and literally) preparing to go in August, when I really don’t know if I will get in. My preferred city of Busan has now been filled, and I was truly getting pumped imagining myself there as I did a lot of research on the beach/mountain town.
When preparing for something so huge, I think it is natural to feel you have to be really mentally immersed in it all the time in order to feel okay or ready. I was preparing so much, it was becoming slightly difficult to focus on my everyday life here. Now I am wondering if I still have it in me if I do end up having to wait until February or something. The thing about waiting is, some of my closest friends are going in February, and perhaps it could be a really amazing thing for me to have them there. They are the reason I buckled down and began the process, because I wasn’t going to be completely alone.
Although my words may sound defeated, I don’t truly feel that. It is more of a feeling that I don’t understand what to feel. I think I am going to continue to be proud of my decision to go, and need to keep in mind that going is what I am doing. I just may have to wait a little longer, prepare a little longer, fret a little longer, be excited a little longer. I probably needed this. . .
